Scattered ME, Superficial ME, and Naughty ME... Can I love them ALL?

As I woke up to greet my Morning of Health and Healing I was excited about the prospect of inner calm and centeredness. But, something else lured in the air and I had within me some sort of a mix of restlessness, boredom, curiosity and excitement.

While I sat in my car waiting for my yoga class to start my iPhone caught my attention and instead of reading the ever so centered and spiritually healing literature that I had brought with me to read before class (Louise Hay’s, You Can Heal Your Life), I ended up browsing the world news and checking out celebrity gossip, which is something I usually shy away from.

When my yoga class started I was far from being calm and centered but instead had a mind scattered with mundane tasks along with an overwhelm of information and images ranging from Haiti’s earthquake victims to the images of America’s ‘privileged, and rich and famous’. When our teacher had us to a ‘vibration dance’ to shake out our stagnant energy and empty our minds, an image of Heidi Montag's newly, cosmetically altered face and body popped up in my mind. Why was she (of all people!) showing up for MY moment to graciously calm and heal my mind and body?

I quickly got to work on evicting her from my mind but the image prevailed, along with various thoughts and feelings about the complexities of our world… the superficiality, greed, and ego-centeredness displayed in popular culture along with the hope, love and compassion demonstrated towards the people in Haiti. At the same time the yoga instructor is calling out to us over a loud drumbeat sound; “empty your minds, empty your minds...” and there I am, frantically shaking my body with all my might, desperately trying to shake these images out of my mind.

After the yoga session, I head to the massage studio, eager to experience the concluding part of my Morning of Health and Healing. I show up far too early and sit down with some tea and the book I brought with me. Ahh... this will be good! But, yet again, instead of reading the book I end up allowing my scattered mind to take over and before I know it I am checking out Twitterville and reading other people’s blog postings.

Then Daniel shows up and tells me he is ready for me. The stones have warmed up and he ask what I want to focus on today, and then leaves me to get ready. I lay there thinking THIS will do the trick! A massage with Daniel is bound to leave me calm and centered, and pretty much comatized. He starts laying the stones on top of me and my body sinks into the massage table, ready to receive this healing. He starts stroking me all over my back and then I feel his hands sort of sensually gliding down to my buttocks, and his intensely firm and "I am in-control" movements take my head into yet another spin. Except this time it is of a much naughtier nature.

As my mind starts drifting off with notions of physical pleasure my ego decides to pop up real quick to ruin the moment, saying; “You should have put on some mascara or lipgloss before you showed up, I mean, my God woman! You look so utterly NAKED!”...

“Stop this right now!" my ego then calls out. "My gosh, what is wrong with you today!?” I irritatingly ask my ego self, half expecting this scolding to turn my head off for good but instead this absolutely loving answer appears without hesitation asking right back; “Wrong?... Why does something have to be “wrong” with you? You’re just being YOU! You are just being in your imaginative and creative mind and enjoying your body. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that… Even the parts of you that you sometimes try to change, deny or suppress are lovable... All of this is YOU! Why not enjoy it... it just means you're ALIVE! You’re joyously HERE, in the NOW, experiencing your human body and your human mind… that’s all!"

So I relaxed enough to simply enjoy my moment without making any more judgments of myself. And, it felt great! I believe you can LOVE every single part there is of YOU. There is no "bad" except for what you believe to be “bad”… all that God created is GOOD.

Wow! I was amazed and quickly sunk back into the massage table allowing myself to flow with everything I was experiencing. Everything is in essence GOOD, including ones desire for the world to be different and ones desire to change and BE better as a BEING.

Today I forgave myself for not being “perfect” in my minds eye and I chose to graciously love myself and all my human complexities. Everything is GOOD… including enjoyment of physical touch and pleasure...

Man, will my husband be happy to see how happy I'll be to see him tonight:)