Fake it till you make it!

Many years ago when I was a quiet and reserved girl in college, my girlfriend suggested we’d sign up for the theater together. Something in me sparked by that suggestion and as outrageous as that felt for someone who was as afraid of judgment as I was, I simply knew I had to do it. It is amazing how your spirit has a way of guiding you in the right direction.

Our director was wonderful; a young and enthusiastic actor who showed up with passion and power for two whole semesters and picked out a challenging play for us to perform; Shakespeare’s Midsummer’s Night Dream.

On one of our first nights with him he used a common phrase; “you just have to fake it till you make it”. Man, did that one simple line resonate with me or what!? It pretty much became a mantra of mine for the next few years. I was definitely not comfortable with being in the “spotlight” in any way and feared even the thought of people judging me. Yet, that night I had a major light-bulb moment in realizing that nobody else actually knew this about me, meaning I could simply “act” as if being on stage and acting came easy to me. It sounded so simple, really. All I had to do was fake it!

I must admit that I did not show any remarkable acting skills playing Queen Titania, as I had a hard time stepping out of my self-consciousness, but the experience helped the ‘Real Me’ peak out of her shell a little bit even though only for a few seconds at a time. My choice to sign up for the school’s theater was definitely instrumental in my life and taught me new things about myself, such as that there were things I could do that I might think I couldn’t do. Whenever we step out of our comfort zones we tend to surprise ourselves with our own strength and courage which helps us gain more confidence for future challenges.

Later, I even jumped on the opportunity to participate in beauty pageants which felt somewhat “wrong” and outrageous at the time, and still later I decided to take some classes in public speaking to get more comfortable with speaking in front of people.

The girl that once clung on to her own few friends at parties and usually kept her head down to avoid having to make eye-contact, often counting the lines in the pavement, had surely faked her way towards appearing somewhat at ease in front of groups of people. Who would have thought she could do that?! Yet, nobody really knew that this wasn’t at all that easy for me. It is not as if I ever acted as if it was all that hard. I sort of kept that part to myself because in a way I was embarrassed for not having more confidence and for having so much self-doubt and fear in me.

The good thing is that I ended up being so good at faking it that eventually I fooled even myself and developed a new persona. In a way, faking it had caused me to make it! I really had become more comfortable with being in front of people; I was actually able to talk to groups of them and present my designs and my thoughts and ideas fully knowing I would get responses and even judgments, and that I might have to defend (or at least clarify) my creations and my perspective.

So, even though I purposely "force" myself to practice the art of simply being myself and I preach that same message to others, a part of me will always be the insecure little girl that once lived in a subsidized housing complex, and was embarrassed about who she was and where she came from. But, that part of me is the “old me”. The “old me” was brave enough to fake her way to become “the new me”, a designer, business consultant, life coach, writer and blogger, openly sharing intimate details about herself with no specific fear or remorse.

One day, I hope the “new me” will have become the “old me” as I will have taken even more steps towards being the absolute Real Me.

Perhaps the next time YOU hear that “old you” saying things such as; you can’t do something, or that you’re too shy, or not good enough, or don’t know how, or are too afraid, and what would people think?!, and so on and so forth, why not just disregard that voice altogether and choose to fake your way towards creating a “new you”? One who in essence is the “Real YOU”, who's just waiting for you to finally let YOU come out and play! It may not be easy at first; it may feel unreal, and even forced, and scary but know that with commitment, practice and repetition you are destined to get to where it is you want to go. All you have to do is let go of your fears. You may at first have to completely fake your way towards fearlessness, but rest assured in knowing that by faking it you are destined to make it!